When your Heart is Broken.

  I have thought a lot about this issue in the past, but never really just sat down and researched it: Adoption.  I recently got together with a friend who is in the process of adoption, and it is a process.  I was able to hear her heart and begin to understand the 'whys' behind it all.  There is such a need for this in life whether internationally or local.
  So, this started a little research binge over the last couple days that has not only opened my eyes to this huge need, but has broken my heart. I am not even close to knowing all there is to know, but the fact that there is a California adoption website where you can literally look at profiles of kiddos that are available and waiting to be adopted, broke me.   There are currently 58,000 kids in foster care in California.  I haven't even looked at statistics in other states, nor have I ventured into the international world.  I just looked in my own backyard.
   Since having Riley a lot has changed. Not to sound cliche or anything.  There have been events, even in her short one year of life that have thrown me for a curve ball.  I had a conversation earlier today with my sister about all of this and we totally agreed that biological or not, parenthood will be a challenge, a risk, a life change.  My own flesh and blood could turn away from Christ at any given moment, fall ill with a fatal disease, or move away to another country.  I do not know any of those outcomes and will not, that is part of the risk.
  What I do know is that Riley needs support, love and security.  Those are all basic human needs, a child that I birthed or not, that is what I want to give.  I am not sure at this point where this will take me, but I think when we are a willing people, the Lord uses that and blesses us.  I have been given much in my life and I have made it a personal goal of mine to not let those things spoil or grow stagnant.  Maybe this is an opening door to something bigger and so beyond me that the Lord is pointing me to. I am going to continue to research and learn and hope that God will do what He will and that I would be willing and available to His calling.