Monday Mama Montage Vol. 15

Good Morning lovely people who read my blog!  Thank you for taking the time out of your day to stop by-I appreciate you!

Motherhood can be a gut-wrenching experience at times.  And I definitely mean that in the most literal way possible.  I definitely think their are moments when things are completely utterly so far from my control that my insides just cringe when I cannot do ANYTHING to bring peace to my little one.  It is truly terrible when your little one is sick or having a tantrum and you have no idea what to do.

This evening seemed like any other evening, a little irritability, and little frustration here or there, dinner, food, brush teeth and bed.  Right around bath time, my husband was home and helping me get our daughter ready for bed and she started getting a little fussy at bath time....then a little more fussy...a little more,..more...MORE!   We didn't know what was wrong.  Full on tears and crying, she didn't want us to hold her or put her down (ya- figure that one out?!?!) I'm trying to give her teething tablets thinking that was the likely culprit, all the while just wondering that one huge question that seems to plague every parent. "Is this normal?"

We managed to calm her after we laid her down on the living room floor with a bottle and then she was perfectly fine like nothing ever happened.  Now I am a first time parent and I have no range for what is normal and what is not normal.  I also recognize that behaviors can be diagnosed and misdiagnosed, called one thing at one age and another thing at another. Things can also be super magnified during a tantrum, especially not having experienced a ton at all.  All I know is how I feel during the fit, or whatever I am calling it, and about an hour after.  My stomach feels like it is in knots, my jaw hurts from being clenched, and my breathing is so off balanced.

Again I feel like I can slightly over exaggerate because I am already an anxious worrisome person and this is how I have dealt with many things in my past.  What sucks about it is that I have done a lot of work on myself not to go to those places.  I feel like I try so hard not to panic, and be anxious, and be worried.  Oh but to have children.  To really see my weaknesses shown to me in the reflection of Riley.  Like a mirror being pointed at me and I see all that I am.  All of me is laid out raw and bare and I find myself literally at the feet of Jesus.  In need so much of His mercy that it hurts.

I am finding that in these moments, in these small quiet reflective moments that I sometimes get after this happens I am but a desperate wretched soul in need of a Savior. Friends-there is beauty in this. There is beauty in the fact that I have a Father, a Father in heaven who is eternal that cares about my growth in life.  He cares so much that He wants to take care of me, and He will use whatever measure possible to get ME to look to HIM over and over and over again.  The pain that I experience with seeing Riley in pain and me being completely and utterly helpless is where I am completely humbled and in desperate NEED of a savior.

Whether her crying fit was due to massive teeth trying to rip through her gums, or her stomach hurt from gas, at this point with the limited communication we will never really know.  All I know at this point in the few 18 months that I have been a Mother is that our kids will experience pain in this life.  I as a parent can use the wisdom and means that I know of to help her, and with that I also pray.  Prayer will always be present in my parenting because of moments like this that happened.

Humility was so present and I was laid out bare feeling utterly helpless in the situation.  There is a beauty in this though, and holding on to the truth that is Christ and the strength that He wants to give.

Friends, Mothers, Women, hold on to the truth that through moments of despair, humility is a beautiful thing that we find, and Christ is so present and there and willing to be our stronghold.


Monday Mama Montage Vol. 14

I can see my frustrations starting to rise a little more now that Riley is a full blown toddler.  There are moments when I just want to do something, whether it be read an email, or do the dishes, and it is interrupted by a shrill whine or cry.  These are the moments that I feel awaken us all.  True wits are tested and I can either practice patience, (oh and is it a practice or what?!) or raise my voice and say "Riley" in that tone that I hate to hear myself do.  This week I want to breathe.  I want to breathe in all that Riley is and in the midst of moments where I just don't seem to have the patience I want to pray.  I want to invite myself and Riley into a place of peace.  This sweet little bundle looks to me for guidance, strength, peace and comfort and I want so desperately to do those things.

This week I want to be intentional.  I want to drink from the great well that Jesus said he gives in the gospel of John.  I want to come to Him for my strength so that I can do this job well. Be a Mother.  I am a Mother and I want to be intentional.

Now, this is not meant to be a note of discouragement or to say in the least bit that this will go as planned this week, but it is where I am right now in my head.  I want to be real with myself, with God and with others.  I want the out pour of  that to flow to my husband first and then to my daughter.

I was gently and also veraciously reminded this past weekend that worship is a lifestyle.  It is fluid and ever changing, but it is constant.  And with things that are constant, we have the ability to improve at them.  I want to take these powerful words in John 4 to come and worship as a reminder to embody Christ to Riley.  Raising the bar to a level that I can consistently strive towards coupled with grace and mercy.

This week I want to be a great Mom.  I want to love Riley and have fun with Riley.  I want to pray out loud with her and bring her into a place that goes deeper. The reminder came on so strong to me that worship is a lifestyle and wanting to pray with Riley more that I realized the reason why I hadn't been doing that with her was because I myself have resided and retracted away from a lifestyle of worship. I have not portrayed to her Christ because I myself have been hindered by certain obstacles that have greatly affected my daily worship of Christ.

I need to confess my sins and ask for forgiveness from the great Father who gives so freely.  My sins past and present have been fully paid for by Christ's sacrifice but that doesn't mean sin doesn't still have symptomatic reactions on our souls.

Confessing and understanding root sins will begin the process of regaining unity and closeness with Christ. Being able to worship Him in His fullness, not mine.  In the likeness of who he is, not who I am. Becoming more like Christ, and in doing so becoming a better Mom.


February Golden Vlog 2

February Prompts

Where did you grow up?
What state did/do you live in? {If you are comfortable saying}
Do you have siblings?
Do you have a nickname?
Did you have a pet growing up? If so, what was it?
Do you have any favorite stories from childhood?
What did you think your life would be like when you were older?
What is your most embarrassing memory?
Tell us your love story and what your plans are this Valentines Day.
What's your favorite Valentines Day Memory?

Link up Here!


60 Before 30

This wonderful concept came straight from my newest favorite blog Em For Marvelous!  Yesterday was my birthday and I am 27.  I came across this blog and this post and thought it was wonderful as well as coincidental.  The creator of this post started her 60 before 30 on her 27th birthday and it just so happens that is what I am going to do.  There is something so different about 27.  It feels more like 30.  It feels like I am a lot closer to that age and no longer in my mid-twenties.  I love this concept of having 3 years to complete 60 things both big and small.  The start of this adventure is February 12, 2015 and will be complete on my 30th birthday February 12, 2018.  I have been working on this list for sometime now and want to share it with you all.
(These are all in random order)

  1. Be a family of four
  2. Refurbish a garage sale dresser
  3. Paint my bedroom
  4. Buy new dressers for bedroom
  5. Riley swim lessons
  6. Bring 15 people to Christ
  7. Lead a community group
  8. Attend a marriage conference 2015
  9. Attend a marriage conference 2016
  10. Attend a marriage conference 2017
  11. Write 2 songs
  12. Cultivate a Fruit/Nut tree
  13. Some sort of fitness instructor
  14. Health nutrition certification
  15. Progress on Credentials
  16. Build in Mexico
  17. Go to a L.A food truck night
  18. Read 15 books
  19. 3 Sprint Triathlons completed
  20. Give monthly $ to a child in need overseas
  21. Decorate our walls in house with scriptural truth
  22. Hiphop dance lessons
  23. Half of my book written
  24. Expand my make-up skills
  25. Host a retreat for Moms
  26. Host a holiday party
  27. Tithe 10% of everything I gross
  28. Celebrate each Anniversary together-Riley stays at Grandmas
  29. Make a will
  30. Oak Glen every year for Halloween with Mom's group
  31. Subscribe to Happy Mail
  32. Become an infleunce Network member
  33. Go to an Influence Network Conference
  34. Meet up with some Peony Project girls
  35. Grow blog to 1000 views a day
  36. Buy a mountain bike
  37. Send out Family Christmas Card 2015
  38. Send out Family Christmas Card 2016
  39. Send out Family Christmas Card 2017
  40. Have a sustainable Garden that I cook from
  41. Be at 115, lean, toned, flexible
  42. Attend Purple Easel with girlfriends 2015, 16, 17
  43. Be able to do fire fly pose in yoga
  44. Print out on canvas photos of our wedding
  45. Take family photos
  46. Be on a worship team for church
  47. Create my own cook book with Drew's favorites
  48. Purchase a new vacuum
  49. Get my tattoo
  50. Do something in being an advocate for human trafficking
  51. Use a simplified planner-Emily Ley
  52. Continued use of Powersheets by Lara Casey
  53. Open an Etsy Store for prints/cards
  54. Go on family vacation
  55. See Phantom of the Opera at a theater
  56. Continue book club at my house '15, '16, '17
  57. Read Mere Christianity
  58. Attend a VUSC Alumni Festivity
  59. Mr. and Mrs. return address labels made
  60. By age 30 I want to look more like Christ.

I would love to hear some of your goals!


Husband Valentine's Gifts

Thank you to Oak and Oats for having great ideas for gifts for the men in our lives for Valentine's Day. This Awesome insulated hot/cold mug will pretty much be the winner for my husband.  We are always running into the problem of coffee not staying warm, rushing out the door and needing water bottles.  This insulated tumbler seems to have it all.  Check it out!

The Tile App-If your man is like mine, he is constantly misplacing wallet, keys and cell phone.  This little gadget is supposed to help solve that issue.

This is such a man tool because it is super practical

Happy Valentines Day!


Goals: *February*

Goals from January
  1. Net over $100 on Ebay
  2. Livescan and volunteer at church
  3. Company solidified for adoption // intentionality
  4. Research instructor certs. (yoga, spin)
  5. Build 10+ repertoire blog posts
  6. Send out 3 encouragement cards to 3 friends
  7. Make a friend date plan
  8. Deep clean hosue
  9. Start marriage book with my husband
Here is the recap of my goals last month: 

I really had a great month with my small business that I have on ebay. I will be doing my livescan this month.  My husband and I looked at a few adoption agency here in the U.S and just couldn't believe how expensive they were.  We recognize though that if this is meant to be a way will be made. I am hoping to join a gym this month and start taking classes there.  I deeply desire to be an instructor of some sort, and getting involved is the first step! I am working on building up my blog repertoire this month. I am doing a 9 week post challenge that oakandoats blog is putting on.  Check her blog out on my sidebar! :) I send my first one out today! I will be meeting up with my friend this Friday to do some wedding crafts and I am super excited! I have deep cleaned parts of my house, and number ten-My husband and I are working on agreeing on a book. :)

Goals for February: 

  1. Organize Riley's clothes and toys by age and box them
  2. Join The Influence Network
  3. Eat Clean
  4. Join Gym and have program set
  5. Research how to do a "will"
  6. Make a coffee date with a friend
  7. Do yoga 2x/week in mornings
  8. Buy and read a Intentional Parenting
  9. Join a community group with my Church

What are your goals this month?  I would love to know :)