Now I realize that not everyone even has this choice to make-whether to stay home with your kid or not. Some Mom's have to go back to work and that is just how it is. Fortunately I was able to make that decision and that is a feeling of full gratitude. For those of you who have followed my blog, I have talked about my birth story and the rough stages I went through transitioning into Motherhood.
For me, the decision to stay home was not really not my decision. You see, prior to getting pregnant I did not have a career. I would say that I was still transitioning into a career. Staying home WAS the only option, because I was not bringing enough money home to go back.
Most women get the first six weeks off and then go back to work. For me, the first six weeks were the hardest. I wanted to go back to work everyday for those first six weeks or so. I was miserable, tired, confused, hormonally challenged, and selfish. My transition was rough, and I would say the first six weeks were the weeks that I wished I had a career to go back to. Staying at home felt terrible to me and I couldn't understand why I ever wanted this. (too real?)
So, although I didn't have that career, I can tell you that I am glad. I am glad because I was able to push through those first few weeks to really see how much I enjoyed it. Now, this took time, trust me. I am so not the girl to just enjoy staring at my daughter, washing dishes and clothes and that is that. NO! I needed a schedule, something that would allow productivity and time with my daughter.
I think staying at home is full of little transitions. Transitions that Mom's go through because they are right there with their kid, trying to be intentional. My daughter is one and LIVES for the park! That is her zone. She is a new walker, explorer, dare devil extraordinaire and it is my job as her mom, care-taker, nanny to engage her and help her discover. Going to the park, is part of my job, following her around and helping her discover is part of my job. Making sure she doesn't get to far out of my sight, is my job. This job-oh ever so changing-is tough; but I love it.
This job, like many other jobs, is demanding. But this job is different in that it is a care taking job. It is demanding on your emotions, your physical body and your own selfish pride. This job is different because it is your own flesh and blood. You are around them 24/7. What other job on earth has those hours? None!
So why do it? I have a system now. In my short 13 months at being a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) I have a pretty good system down that seems to work for my daughter and me.
Here are some things that do that help me stay balanced as SAHM:
1. Play dates: They are not just for your kids, they are for you. Being able to see my daughter interact with other kids her age is so important and great. I love that we have play dates and that she is able to learn from other kids. I am able to spend time with other Moms and have adult conversations
2. Schedule your weekly Naps; I made it a point to schedule out things that I needed/wanted to do during her naps that would be uninterrupted activities. The need to feel productive is pretty innate for most of us and that is a good thing! Although raising our kids is very valuable and productive so are other activities.
3. Side Money: I really needed to feel like I was contributing to the family financially. That is just me though. I realize what I am doing. people get paid for-and alot, but I needed something that I could be creative at and make some side cash.
4. Utilize family: Yes I stay at home, but no I do not just spend all my time with my daughter. She needs other people interaction, just like I do. Me being a good Mom is taking breaks from her. We both need that and I make sure to schedule in time with awesome family to spend time with her.
5. No Helicopter: Now that my daughter is a little older I allow her to go and explore. I didn't always allow this and I am so glad I relaxed. I was way to stressed for my own good and I felt like I had to be where my daughter was at all times. Allowing her to trip and fall a few times wasn't going to make me a bad mom, in fact it has made me better. I think allowing our kids to explore, trip, get scratches is a good thing. Knowing that I am there when she gets hurt is the most important, not that I save her from that happening.
Motherhood, is a beautiful and messy world. Staying at home, or a working away from home--you are my hero.
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